For the Summer - 1992

CH 10 – That Time We Went to Vegas

1992

Wayne's World, a film adapted from a sketch on NBC's Saturday Night Live, is released in theaters.

Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen are the first NBA players to win a Championship and an Olympic Gold Medal in the same year.

William J. Clinton is elected the 42nd President of the United States.

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Edward skis behind my boat and he's flopping all over the place wearing a tall green hat on his head. He tumbles across the water, except he never falls in. He's in the back of the boat now, frantic because he lost his hat.

"Bella, I need my hat. We have to go back!" I shake my head. I have no idea why, but we can't go back. We can only go forward.

"We can only go forward, Edward," I try to say but can't because there's a huge wad of Bubblicious in my mouth. I pull the gum out and it sticks to my fingers, my hands tangled in sticky pink.
"But I need my hat!" Edward shouts. The boat drives itself and Edward is kissing me on the bench, his lips on my neck and my chest and I can't touch him back because of the damn gum. I want to hold him and I can't. His lips move over my stomach his tongue licking at my belly button and I can't breathe but it feels so good, I don't care.
He pulls at the strings of my bikini bottoms but he can't get them loose. There's a knot and he yanks at the stretchy green fabric in frustration.
"Here, let me get that," Jacob says and my eyes flash over to him. We're not on the boat anymore. We're in my bedroom. All of us.
"Jacob, get the hell out of here!" I scream. Alice is pushing Jacob out of the way.
"No, you're doing it all wrong." Alice's fingers quickly untangle the knots and she yanks the bottoms out of the way, pointing to my who-ha and shouting, "Ta da!"
It's about now that I vaguely realize I'm dreaming, but I don't wake up. Because now Edward's going down on me and Alice is giving him pointers while Jacob smokes pot with Joey from Blossom and all he keeps saying is "Whoa!" All I can feel is Edward's tongue and I don't want to wake up for all the ice cream in the world. The gum on my hands has disappeared and I'm wearing Edward's green hat.
My body is doing things, wonderful, tingling, exploding fireworks things, and I don't know if it's the dream or if it's real, but there's a rhythmic pounding between my legs and it's enough to jolt me out of my deep sleep.
I open my eyes. I'm alone in my room and I'm panting, my chest and forehead covered in sweat. What the fuck was that? Three seconds later I hear a low rap on my window. I'm so confused, my legs still quivering as I stumble out of bed and pull the blinds out of the way.
Edward. Oh, that's fricking weird.
He grins at me expectantly as I force open the window and pop out the screen. I'm disoriented, that dream fucking with my mind and I rub my eyes as he climbs in my window and closes it behind him. He licks his lips, and his fingers pull through his hair as he stands awkwardly in my room.
"Best pajamas ever," he says and I look down. I haven't done laundry in days and fell asleep in my Chicago Bulls championship tank top and my underwear. I roll my eyes and sit on my bed. There's really no point in being modest. My bikini covers far less and Edward's already seen my boobs.
"Did you just get here?" I yawn and he sits across from me on my bed. His hair is still long, and he's wearing a gray t-shirt and baggy cargo shorts. I wonder if he wears river clothes all year long, now.
"Yeah," he nods.
"You're late," I say, pulling the rubber band from my wrist and wrapping my hair back into a pony tail.
"We had to wait for Rose. She's waiting to hear about this internship thing in Washington D.C.," Edward says as his fingers connect the three freckles on my thigh that form a perfect equilateral triangle. Every time he touches me it's like this flooding sensation of warmth and familiarity. It's comfort and care and natural, like turkey on Thanksgiving, or peanut butter and jelly.
"How's school?" I ask and he shrugs.
"I'm just stoked this semester is finally over. I have one more year and then I apply for medical school. I still have to take the MCAT. I've been putting it off. Four more years, Bella. I have to do this shit for four more years," Edward says loudly and I crawl over him to push play on my cassette player. The last thing I need is my dad catching me in my underwear with a boy in my room.
"You don't have to do anything. If you hate it so much, you should do something else," I say as I sit cross legged beside him.
"It's not a choice," he murmurs and I sigh. I understand. I guess he's obligated to medical school just like I'm obligated to the marina. He leans against the bed frame, and closes his eyes as Nirvana fills the silence.
"So…" I say after a long while. He opens one eye and looks over at me, the corner of his mouth pulled up in a grin. I'm dying to find out what happened with Angela, but I don't know how to ask. I think Edward knows it and is making this hard on purpose.
"So I was thinking, we need to go out," Edward says mischievously and I raise my eyebrows.
"In case you haven't noticed, we're kind of in the middle of nowhere. Where exactly did you want to go?" I ask.
"Somewhere we can dress up." His fingers play connect the freckles again and I frown. God, why does he always have to touch me? I would be just fine if he didn't touch me all the time.
"I don't know, Edward," I say hesitantly. I don't really do dressed up.
"Angela dumped me," he interrupts. "The moment we got in the car last summer. We didn't even stop to sleep in Reno, drove the whole nineteen hours straight through." He pauses, waiting for my reaction, but I can't speak.
"So, are you seeing anyone, Bella?"
"No," I whisper as I watch his fingers on my skin. "Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Nope," he says quietly and I can't look at his eyes because I'm sure they're doing all kinds of dazzling things. "I haven't been out in months."
I don't know what he means by out. I assume when he goes out, he drinks and when he drinks he fucks random chicks. And this makes me sick. It shouldn't, though. I have no claim on him, he can date whoever he wants. I should just be satisfied that right now, he's available, he's in my bedroom and I'm already in my underwear.
But of course, I'm not.
"What do you mean by out?" I ask.
"Out, you know, out," he says and I shake my head.
"No, I don't know. I don't go out. Ever."
"Then we are definitely going out," Edward smiles and I'm frustrated.
"Are you still sleeping around?" I blurt out. He chooses his words carefully and my stomach twists the longer he's silent.
"I go out Bella, and sometimes I go out with girls. But I'm not looking for a hook up anymore. I'm kind of over it." My heart sighs in relief.
"Then what are you looking for?" I already know the answer. Love. He's looking for someone to love him. Someone in Seattle. Someone who's not me.
"I don't know. Just looking, I guess," he mutters.
"I don't want you to look," I say stubbornly and I realize I sound like a pouty five year old.
"What do you expect, Bella? I mean, I thought that kiss last year was pretty fucking stellar and then I don't hear from you all year and I'm left thinking I made a mistake, that I basically broke this nice girl's heart for nothing. Why shouldn't I look? Do I have a reason not to look?" Edward asks me desperately and I'm at a loss as to what to say.
All year long I contemplated contacting Edward. I don't even have his address, but I guess I could have asked Emmett to ask Rose. I don't know. I didn't feel like it was my place to pursue anything, not after I wrecked his relationship with Angela. I still feel sick when I think about the look on her face at the dock. I didn't know if he was going to try and salvage that relationship and in the effort to preserve my weary little heart, I didn't call.
He didn't either, for the record, and I don't care what he says, he should have contacted me. He was the one with the girlfriend, he was the one that left without saying goodbye, he was the one who knew where to find me. He should have made a move. And he didn't.
"I guess not," I say bitterly as Edward throws his hands up in the air.
"You are so fucking stubborn, you know that?" he says incredulously and now I'm angry. I kick my legs underneath my quilt, kicking him in the process, and he glares at me. He yanks the blanket from my lap and I grit my teeth and try to yank it back but he won't let go. A coy grin plays on his lips and I'm shaking with anger now. He's laughing at me.
"Give me my fucking blanket," I growl and he refuses to concede. I crawl onto my knees and attempt to push him off my bed and now he's full on chuckling. "Get out of my room."
"No," he says, his body squirming between me and the white iron railing of my daybed. "Not until you admit it."
"Admit what?" I ask.
"Admit that you don't want me to look at other girls because you like me," he says confidently, his hands behind his head on my pillow, his feet crossed and hanging off the edge of my small bed. His shirt pulls up as he stretches and all I can see is the small span of skin and hair and muscle beneath his belly button. The top of his boxers stick out from under the waistband of his baggy shorts and my whole body flushes with heat. And I hate him for it.
"I really, really don't like you right now," I grumble and he just laughs.
"Yes you do. You just don't like that you have a weakness," Edward yawns, his eyes closing and I'm stunned. I feel exposed, totally transparent and I'm speechless. I hate that he knows me so well, I hate that he can read my brain. I especially hate that all I want to do is climb on top of him.
"We're going to Vegas for the Fourth," he says definitively, his eyes still closed and I feel my shoulders slump, my stomach knot and twist. Vegas? With Edward? I guess we'll finally be able to see some damn fireworks.
"And I want to meet your mom."
…
"So, Edward, Bella tells me you play basketball?" My mom takes another bite of her hot fudge sundae, the chocolate dripping onto her chin. Her boyfriend, Phil wipes the smudge from her skin and I almost puke up my lemon meringue pie all over the table of the small café. Emmett rolls his eyes and sticks his finger down his throat. Rose smacks at his hand and I try not to laugh.
"Alright, stop making fun of me, Emmett, or I'm going to bring up Mr. Blankie." Mr. Blankie was Emmett's favorite blanket when he was a kid. He slept with it until he was twelve.
The twinkle in my mom's eye and the smile invading her red lips is all the evidence I need. She's happy, happier than I've ever seen her. She's never introduced us to a guy. I might even be so naïve to suggest she didn't date. But I know better. Everyone dates. Everyone has sex. Everyone but me.
Anyway, this Phil guy must be pretty special. I think he's living with her. They seem connected, attached at the hip and while it's nice to see her so happy, the constant PDA is kinda grossing me out.
"Sorry, Edward, my children are so disrespectful," my mom says.
"Hey! I didn't even say anything!" I respond.
"Yeah, but you were thinking it," she grins and I laugh.
"I used to play basketball. I had to quit the team this year because I couldn't keep up with practice and classes," Edward answers and I look at him perplexed. I didn't know he wasn't playing basketball anymore.
"Yeah," he answers my unspoken question quietly and I want to talk to him about this but I know now's not the time or place. I check Edward's watch and the big, shiny silver face tells me it's almost time to go. We're supposed to meet Alice and Jasper at Caesars Palace in ten minutes and traffic on the strip is a bitch.
Dr. Cullen booked two rooms for the Fourth of July at Caesars as a gift for Edward's twenty-first birthday. He made dinner reservations, scoped out clubs and even rented a limousine to cart us around the whole night. The news is both awesome and kind of sucks royally because guess who's not twenty-one yet. Me and only me. Luckily, I was able to persuade Leah to give me her driver's license. I could maybe pass for twenty-five, if I wear make-up.
I'm a little bit intimidated by how much money the Cullens actually have. There's no way Emmett and I can afford dinner at these restaurants or even pay for our share of the hotel room but Edward insists it's all taken care of. When I ask him about it he kind of gets irritated with me.
"Look, my dad likes to buy my love. And I like to let him. It's how he makes up for being gone all the time," he mutters. "Besides, it's for my birthday. Are you going to say no to my birthday, Bella?"
How can I argue with that?
I do, however, have to argue with my dad. After assuring him there will be no coed cohabitation, no drinking, and no bare midriffs, he finally agrees to let me go. It's all a lie, of course. Emmett doesn't even need to ask. I shouldn't need his permission anymore either, but something tells me there'd be hell to pay if I just up and left for a night in Vegas with Edward.
Then there's this thing with my mom. It's not that I'm embarrassed by her or anything, it's just that she's kind of pushy. She asks lots of questions and I don't want her bringing up the relationship stuff. I keep imagining her asking about our plans for the future and that would just be disastrous.
It's not that I haven't thought about my future with Edward. I admit it, I've fantasized about marrying him and you know the kids and the house and everything. I've also seen him moving on, marrying someone else, someone like Angela, and the two of them bringing their kids to the river on vacation. Or worse, he stops showing up all together. He's already given up basketball and like he said, he has four more years of school. There may be a time when he has to give up the long vacation. There may be a time when he has to give me up.
That's why I'm here right now, suffering through lunch with my mom and her new boyfriend, and introducing her to Edward. I might never have the chance to let my mom know Edward again, and well, I think it's kind of important for her to know the greatest love of my life, even though he's not really mine at all.
"Time to go?" he asks and I nod. Edward pays with a green credit card and my mom gushes.
"Hold on to this one," she whispers in my ear when I kiss her goodbye and I don't know what she likes more, Edward or his credit card.
Emmett takes the side streets, avoiding the main strip and parks in the general parking of the large, extravagant casino. Edward leads as we walk into the most beautiful, ornate lobby I've ever seen. I've never actually been to any of the other hotels on the strip. I've never really had a reason to.
Everything is just so enormous and grand and I fumble around in my backpack until I find my camera. I feel like such a tourist as I snap pictures of everything, from the glittering chandeliers to the faux marble statues and I'm overwhelmed by the colors and lights. Even the smell is intoxicating, like new carpet and cigarettes and perfume, and as I inhale I realize I fricking love Vegas. Here I am, right smack dab in the middle of a perfectly replicated ancient Italy and all it took was an hour long car ride filled with reenactments of the Bohemian Rhapsody scene from Wayne's World and four games of Who Would You Do. I could come here every day!
"Hey you guys!" I hear Alice screeching from across the massive lobby. She's followed by a grinning Jasper and I'm beginning to get excited too. She gives us hugs and we're laughing and talking loudly, and the giddiness of being away from parents, and in Vegas, radiates from our group.
"We're getting dressed up tonight, Bella! I'm talking heels and glitter and sexy dresses. We are going all out, baby!" Alice says and I'm petrified. I didn't even bring any heels.
Edward checks into the rooms and we haul our bags through the dark, winding casino. The chime of coins and beeps and horns is distracting as we weave through the maze of slot machines and blinking lights. Alice squeals when she sees the rows of expensive shops and I stare up at the ceiling that looks like a cloudy sky, and I almost get lost in the magnificence of it all. Edward's walking really fast and I grab onto his arm so I can keep up. He smiles down at me, his eyes alive and vibrant as he throws his arm over my shoulder and kisses the top of my head. It's almost like we're in a different world, like we can forget everything here and just be. It's incredibly liberating.
We finally get to the adjoined rooms and I'm stunned. The room is warm and decorated in neutral tones with splashes of rich reds and greens and golds. The furniture is modern and offsets the ancient Roman architecture. It's just so unreal, like my lounge singer fantasy. It almost makes me want to break out a sequined dress.
I'm not sure where to put my stuff so I just toss it into the first corner I see. Jasper drags Alice's large, rolling suitcase to one of the beds and I'm glad. I don't think I could survive sleeping in the same room as my fornicating brother and his girlfriend.
Edward stretches out on the mattress and I sit cross legged in the chair, awkwardly wondering if he's planning on sharing my bed, and if I should shave my legs again. And then I want to smack myself for even thinking about this. What is wrong with me? What kind of person puts themselves through this torture? Bella Swan: sexually repressed virgin slut, that's who.
"Oh my God, look at this bathtub!" Alice says as she peeks her head out from inside the bathroom. "You can fit, like, eight people in this thing!"
"This is the hotel where they filmed Rain Man, you know," Jasper says as he flops next to Alice's monstrous suitcase. Geez, how much shit could she need for one night in Vegas?
As soon as I see the contents of Alice's suitcase exposed, I'm seriously stressing. She piles dozens of dark fabrics onto the bed, slinky, shimmering satins and sequined lace with ruffles and stretchy bands and I cringe. It's not that I hate dressing up, I just don't know how to do it. The nicest shirt I brought is my white eyelet camisole but there's no way I'm going out with them looking like fricking Gidget when they look like supermodels. Maybe I'll just stay here.
"Bella Swan, you get that look off your face right now! I can see you making excuses," Alice says as she folds probably the smallest skirt I've ever seen in my life and I swallow. Edward chuckles, throwing open the window shades to display a magnificent view of the strip. We'll totally be able to see the fireworks, even if it's just from the room.
"I didn't bring anything nice, Alice," I say.
"Well, we did. You can borrow whatever you want from us. I always bring at least two back-up outfits, in case I change my mind. What size shoe do you wear?" Alice asks and I look at her tiny feet.
"Not your size, that's for sure," I laugh. "My feet are huge."
Alice shrugs, "What size? I bet Rose has something you can wear."
I really don't want to tell everyone my shoe size. It's completely stupid, but my feet are big, like too big for my body. I'm just glad Emmett's in the other room, because I'm absolutely positive he'd make his trusty, old, "Bella's feet are as big as skis" joke.
"I think, like an eight," I fudge. Yeah, I really wear a size nine. Eight and a half is probably the smallest I could go without losing feeling in my toes.
"Rose is the same! Oh! She has these gorgeous silver stilettos that would look amazing with your skin tone," she squeals and I try to fake my enthusiasm. The thought of squeezing my feet into heels that are a size too small for an evening of romping around Las Vegas is kind of making me nauseous and I'm already planning on sneaking my sandals into my purse.
I glance over at Edward on the windowsill, a sarcastic smirk on his face and I just know he's got a joke running through his head.
"What?" I ask, my eyes narrowing and he just laughs.
"Nothing!" he defends. "I didn't even say anything."
"You didn't even need to, I can see it all over your face," I respond.
"Why do you always think I'm trying to make fun of you?"
"Because you are! Come on, what's the joke?"
"No joke," he shrugs. "Just now I know why you're so good on skis."
"Hardy-har-har. What about you, Goofy? Your huge feet didn't seem to help you much," I smirk and Edward scowls.
"Yeah, well guys are supposed to have big feet. You know what they say about guys with big feet," Edward winks at me.
"What, they have really big shoes?" I ask innocently.
"You're never gonna live that down, you know? Goofy on skis was the funniest thing I'd seen in years," Alice says as she pulls a gigantic bottle of tequila from her suitcase and sets it among a half a dozen other bottles of various hard liquors she's already lined up along the counter.
"Geez, Alice! We're only gonna be here one night!" I laugh. Here I thought she was just a clothes horse. More than half her suitcase is filled with booze!
"Yep, one night of gross indulgence and debauchery," Alice announces as she pulls a stack of shot glasses and a little bag of limes from her purse. She doesn't hesitate to pour six shots of tequila, using Jasper's pocket knife to slice one of the limes into wedges.
"I forgot the salt," Alice says with a smile. "But I snagged these from the burger place we stopped at on the way here." She pulls out a handful of individualized salt packets and I laugh at Alice's makeshift bar.
"Rose! Where for art thou, sweet Rose!" Alice shouts as she pounds on the door joining our rooms. Rose swings open the door, Emmett behind her as they walk into our room, and prop open the door with a trash can.
"Toast!" Alice says as she waves us all over to the counter. I glance at Edward and the corner of his lips curl up as he saunters over to me. Gripping the back of my chair, he leans in close behind me, his lips at my ear.
"Hold on," he says in a low voice and with a surge that throws me back against the chair, he pushes me over to the counter and I can't help but giggle.
Alice hands us each a shot glass, and a single serving salt packet. We each take a lime as she raises her glass into the air.
"To Edward, you're not only a great brother, but you're a great friend too. Happy Birthday!" she says as she licks the salt from her wrist and empties her shot glass. We all drink and the tequila goes down smooth. Before I can even remove the lime from my mouth, Alice is pouring another round. Oh Christ, this is gonna get ugly.
"One more, one more, because I forgot something in the toast," Alice argues as we all collectively grumble.
"To old friends," she says, her wide blue eyes twinkling and staring right at me. "To risks and sparks and connections forged. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not there."
She throws back her second shot in five minutes and the rest of the group just shrugs at her cryptic toast as they down their drinks but I know better. I understand exactly what she's talking about. Tonight, she's saying. Take a risk, tonight.
Well, fuck, if there was ever a time to throw caution to the wind, it would be tonight. One night. Everything could change in this one night.
I'm gonna need more tequila.
I quickly pour the liquid down my throat, forgetting the salt, forgetting the lime and just letting the liquor burn.
Alice orders a jug of orange juice from room service and makes a big batch of screwdrivers that we take down to the pool in large sports bottles she brought in her suitcase of sin. Jasper brings a handful of cigars and we spend a couple hours lounging in the hot sun, drinking and smoking and playing Marco Polo in the pool. It's probably not a great idea to play a childish underwater touching game in a public pool whilst intoxicated because now I've been felt up by Edward twice and I'm pretty familiar with Alice's left boob. We just keep getting louder and more hilarious and Emmett and Rose are sitting way too close. I'm thinking at any moment hotel security is going to escort us off the premises for obscene behavior.
Eventually it's time to get ready for dinner and my head is fuzzy from the smoke and the alcohol and all I had to eat was that lemon meringue pie earlier. I don't bother with a towel as we walk back to the hotel room, and it's in this moment that I fully understand the term sloppy drunk. The elevator ride is unbearable. Edward stands behind me, playing with my bikini ties and threatening to untie my top and I lazily slap at his hand.
"Knock it off, ass!" I say as the elevator doors open and Edward nudges me into the hall. I stumble forward, my flip flop catching on the lip of the elevator door, and Edward's arms wrap around my waist to try to keep me from falling. Alice can hardly stand, she's laughing so hard.
I'm using the f-word excessively, trying to break free from Edward's grasp and everyone just keeps laughing.
"Bella, stop fighting me! Shit! Why are you constantly fighting me?" Edward says. His arms hold my arms to my body, his bare chest pressed against my back and I don't want to fight him. But I cannot surrender. I can't bring myself to do it. I don't even know why I'm fighting him at this point, all I know is I can't let Edward Cullen get the best of me.
"Why are you constantly messing with me?" I try to turn my head to look at him and his nose is so close to mine, I can smell his breath. "Vodka breath."
His eyes flicker as he licks his lips and for a moment, I'm flooded with trepidation.
"Vodka breath?" he questions, his tone menacing. "Vodka breath?" Before I know what is happening, he picks me up, and I scream. He hoists my almost bare ass over his shoulder and takes off running down the hall, my stomach bouncing against his back and this situation just went volatile.
"I'm gonna puke all down your back," I struggle to say.
"Do it, I dare you," Edward antagonizes and now I'm wishing I could make myself vomit just to teach him a lesson. But in the next few seconds we're in the room and he's throwing me on the bed, my head bouncing on the mattress and I'm dizzy and out of breath. He hovers over me, his long hair falling in his face, his lips pursed and I focus on the scatter of freckles across his nose. God damn, I want him to kiss me.
Whoa, I am way too drunk. I need some French fries, and a cold shower. Preferably not at the same time.
Edward leans in closer just as Alice and Jasper stumble through the door, followed by my brother and Rose.
"I call shower," he says, the intensity of his green eyes burning into mine. He winks at me, fucking winks, then grabs his bag and disappears into the bathroom. Jasper flicks on the television, turning to some music television channel as Alice collapses onto my bed, her head turning to face me and all she says is one word.
"Spark," she giggles and I give her a push. She just laughs as she rolls off the bed, opening up her suitcase and I close my eyes, my lids heavy and wanting a rest.
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, Edward is shaking my shoulder and I roll over onto my stomach, trying to ignore him and the absolutely mouthwatering smell of soap and cologne wafting around me.
"Bella? Wake up, we're leaving for dinner in like forty-five minutes," Edward says and I jump up. Forty-five minutes! I'm still in my fricking swimsuit! I rub my eyes as they adjust and see Rose putting in her contacts and Alice finishing up her makeup at the vanity. I can hear Jasper and Emmett in the other room, a thudding drum beat emanating through the wall. And then there's Edward.
He's standing by the bed, wearing a tight faded green t-shirt over a pair of dark, slim jeans with black boots. I swear he looks like four inches taller in pants. He's wearing this belt, his shirt haphazardly tucked into the front of his pants, and all I can stare at is this fricking silver belt buckle. His hair is messy, the reddish brown tangles hiding his face and I just want to push them away for the injustice. He looks amazing, beyond beautiful.
And then he smiles, like he's embarrassed he looks nice and my heart just softens at this vulnerability. I should tell him he looks nice. Because he does. He looks nice. Really, really deliciously nice.
"You look good," I mange to blurt out and Edward chuckles, his fingers pushing his hair behind his ears. I fight it, damn it, but I just can't help but smile at this boy. But he's not a boy. He's a man, I guess. Oh my God, when did Edward become a man?
"Bella, shower, now!" Alice barks and I don't dispute. I shower off quickly, running a razor over my legs and armpits and wash my hair. I towel off and wrap a ridiculously small towel tight around my chest and peek out the door.
"Alice, I need my bag," I say. She's sitting cross legged on the counter in her sweatpants, smudging black liner along her lids.
"Edward, get Bella her bag," Alice orders and I throw her a dirty look. She just grins as Edward carries my bag over to me, that damn smirk on his beautiful face as he shamelessly looks me up and down. I'd be offended if I wasn't so turned on right now. He hooks the bag on his finger and I snatch it from him and his smile widens.
"You look good," he says. I just roll my eyes and shut the door but I can hear him laughing and I'll be damned if I can't stop the fricking giggles myself. Curse him and his blatant flirting!
I put on my underwear and bra and pull my white eyelet tank from my bag. I have no idea what the girls are wearing but there's no way I'm going to stack up in this. I open the door a crack and peek out to see Rose now stunning in a knee length red spaghetti strap baby-doll dress and a pair of platform sandals that strap around her ankle and I'm sunk.
"Alice! I need help," I ask pitifully and she laughs, motioning to her open suitcase.
"Go hunting," she says and I peek further into the room to find it empty of boys. I quickly dash over to shut the door that joins the two rooms.
"Bella! Are you wearing boy underwear?" Alice asks exasperated and I look down at my Underoos.
"They have She-ra on them, too," I say indignantly. "She's the princess of power."
Alice just rolls her eyes and goes back to her makeup. I wade through the myriad of clothing and feel utterly ridiculous. Alice's clothes are very small and very stylish. Nothing is going to look right on me. My boobs are definitely too big for any of her shirts, all her skirts are way too short and I feel like utter shit.
"I have something you should wear," Rose says and slips into the other room. She returns with a turquoise dress, the material flowing over her manicured hand and a pair of silver stilettos. I'm guessing these are the shoes Alice was talking about earlier.
"Try this," she says and hands me the soft fabric with a quick smile and I'm a little bit surprised she offered. I pull the silky material over my head, the top fastening around my neck and I zip up the side. It's just a little too big, but it's definitely better than any of the micro-clothing I see in Alice's suitcase. The dress is short but comfortable, with a high waist covered in dozens of tiny pleats.
"Looks good, but you cannot wear Underoos with chiffon," Alice says. "Here, wear these. And take your bra off."
I hold up the ridiculous excuse for underwear Alice gave me, the tags still attached. "Holy mother of rip-offs, thirty dollars for a slingshot? Is this in case we get attacked? Should I put a couple rocks in my purse, just in case?"
"No, smart ass, it's a thong. Just put it on," Alice says.
"I'm not wearing anything that goes up my ass cheeks on purpose. I'm already wearing heels. That's enough torture for one night," I say and attempt to slingshot a wadded up sock at Alice.
"Fine!" Alice scowls and hands me a pair of briefs. "Wear these instead, but trust me, some people like it."
"You like having a piece of elastic between your cheeks?" I ask her, sarcastically.
"You get used to it, but that's not what I meant. Some people think they're sexy," she hints again and I still have no idea what she's talking about.
"Who thinks they're sexy?"
"I don't know, people! Jasper likes them. I bet Edward does too," Alice says and I blush. I wait until she's not looking and then slip off my Underoos and put on the damn thong. It's uncomfortable, just like I expected, but kinda surprisingly sexy. I'll never tell Alice that, though.
I unhook my bra and pull the straps off my arms, yanking the thing out from under the dress and check to make sure it's not totally obvious I'm braless. It's not really, unless there's a gust of chilly air, then the girls will be at full attention, and nipple-age will definitely be visible. The odds of chilly air are about as high as me winning the progressive jackpot so I'm really not worried. Then I remember a small black slinky sweater thing Alice had in her suitcase.
"Can I take this, just in case?" I ask Alice and she nods, her blue eyes extraordinarily vibrant under the glittery shadows and liner. She slinks into a pale pink sheath, knotting a gold chain belt around her waist and slipping on a pair of gold open-toe pumps. Her wrists are covered in bangles, her short black hair clipped off her face and I swear, she looks like she stepped off the pages of Cosmo.
She helps me with my make-up and smoothes some slimy crap in my hair. She has me bend over and scrunch my hair up in my hands while she sprays me with something else. I don't really care about my hair, actually. Odds are, I'll just end up tying it back anyway. When she's all finished, she points me to the mirror and says, "Ta-da" just like in my dream and that, in combination with the odd person I see, kind of freaks me out a little.
I mean, I don't look bad, I just look strange. My hair looks good, falling around my bare shoulders in long loose waves. My normally boring brown eyes seem to sparkle and yeah, there's glitter all over my eyelids in soft, subtle greens and golds. My eyelashes are long and black and perfectly separated, my cheeks are flushed and a soft golden pink tints my lips. The turquoise of the dress does look nice against my tanned skin and I have to say, if the person in the mirror were anyone else, I'd think she looks pretty. But since it's supposed to be me, I just look strange. I turn around to check out my butt, to make sure you can't tell I'm wearing a piece of elastic up my rear but you can't see anything. Great, now it looks like I'm not wearing any underwear at all. How embarrassing!
Finally we're ready to go and we file out of the hotel room, but not before Alice pours us all a celebratory shot of tequila. My brother is wearing these jeans and an untucked white button-up shirt and he looks really sharp. I didn't even know he had dress-up clothes. And he's wearing dress shoes. I've never seen my brother wear dress shoes, ever. Jasper looks especially Frank Sinatra-esque tonight, with the hat and the short sleeved pin striped shirt. I don't put on the heels until the very last moment, slipping Leah's ID, my flip flops, a bra and a pair of Princess Leia Underoos into my purse. Just in case.
Edward holds his arm out to me as we walk down the hallway to the elevator and well, I take it. He smells so good, I can hardly stop myself from smushing my face right into his thin t-shirt. I hold on for dear life, because I'm having a little trouble walking in these confounded shoes.
"You look amazing," Edward breathes into my neck and I sigh, trying to focus on walking. Every so often I skim my hand over my butt to make sure the dress is still there. I don't want to accidentally flash everyone my ass. Without the coverage of regular underwear, I feel a little paranoid.
Luckily, the restaurant we're eating at is inside the Casino because I'm starving. I order a hamburger and French fries, and Edward laughs at me but I don't want anything else. Except, ice cream. I order a hot fudge sundae and we all share and it is the best thirteen dollar ice cream I've ever tasted.
I lay off the drinks because I'm a little hesitant to use Leah's ID, but the others have no problem indulging. Especially, Edward. First, he orders beer with dinner, opting for a dark, thick brew in a large glass cup. After about three of those, he moves on to the hard liquor, ordering a couple Jack and cokes for dessert. He gives me sips and his hand is on my knee, or draped over my shoulder and he's whispering things into my ear and by the time we all load into the Limo, I'm sure he's drunk. He just keeps saying, "You only turn twenty-one once, right?"
On the ride to some jazz club that Edward picked, he pops a bottle of champagne and we all have a glass. I'm starting to feel a little tipsy, not drunk or anything, but definitely happy, so when Emmett pulls out the weed, I have no reservations about joining in. I share a joint with Edward and he does his "I did not inhale" impression and we laugh. Then Jasper gives him a cigar and I swear, it feels like I'm on Melrose Place or some shit. Like, this whole night is a fantasy, and Edward is my fantasy boyfriend and I'm wearing a thong and make-up and it's just so unreal.
And I don't know if it's the alcohol or the weed or Edward's intoxicating cologne, but I let myself believe the fantasy. It's only for one night and Edward's right, I don't have to fight him. God, I'm so tired of fighting, so very, very tired.
So I cross my legs towards Edward, letting my skirt ride up high on my leg. I touch his chest and his thigh and I smoke his cigar and he laughs and kisses me and it's fun. Probably the most fun I've ever had in all my life.
We get to the jazz bar and now I'm starting to get a little worried, because I'm going to have to pretend to be Leah, the twenty-five year old that was born April 9th, 1967, residing at 714 Searchlight Avenue, Willow Cove, Arizona. Edward can tell that I'm nervous so he pulls me in close to his body. His cologne takes over and it's like a soothing, euphoric, wonder drug or something because when we all hand the big burly bouncer our ID's, I'm completely calm. Edward nuzzles my ear and then we're inside the club and I'm being ushered into a booth. The loud, calming rhythms of the bass and the saxophone are pulsing in my chest, the enticing plink of the piano vibrating off my skin.
I'm squeezed in between Alice and Edward and I'm starting to feel very warm. Edward's body is still glued to my side and I'm glad I left the cardigan in the limo. I can't feel my toes anymore and I slip my feet out of Rose's shoes and I put my lips to Edward's ear.
"Remind me not to forget Rose's shoes," I say and he just laughs, his hands cradling my face as he kisses me, a slow, sensual kiss on the mouth and I relish in the fantasy. A waitress comes to the table and Jasper orders something for all of us. I don't even know what it is, but I drink it. It's fruity and good and I could probably drink like eight more but my head is starting to get fuzzy and I have to pee. I grudgingly squeeze my feet into the silver torture devices and nudge Edward out of the way so Alice and I can use the restroom. The bartender directs us to a narrow hallway and of course, there's a fucking line. We're waiting and Alice is talking a mile a minute.
"You know, he moved out of the dorm. Moved in with Jasper and his buddy Mike, you remember Mike?" she asks and I nod. How could I forget him? I remember everything about that year. "Anyway, they all got an apartment downtown. I stay there a lot, especially when I work."
"Jasper's gonna graduate next year, and then I'm hoping we can get our own place, just the two of us. God, I am so sick of living with my mom," Alice rambles.
"What's Jasper want to do?" I ask and Alice laughs.
"He's majoring in accounting," she says and I can't hide my surprise. "He wants to be a CPA. I know, it's hilarious."
Finally, it's our turn to use the restroom and Alice notices I wore the thong. She giggles like a twelve year old and I just roll my eyes. We're making our way back to the booth, a charming classical piece being played on the piano when, suddenly, it morphs into a familiar, simple song, the easy melody made complex with chords and scales and the voice crooning over the microphone shocks me right out of my fading buzz.
It's Edward. Singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. On stage.
I grab Alice's hand and I drag her over to the booth where my brother and Rose and Jasper are laughing at Edward making a fool of himself.
"How did he even get up there?" I ask and my brother just shrugs as Alice slides into the booth next to Jasper.
"I don't know. He said he was going to go talk to the piano player because he was really good and then, he's on stage playing like fucking Mozart and shit." My brother is totally wasted. "I didn't even know he could play."
"Yeah, since he was little," I mutter.
"What?" he asks and I shake my head.
"Nevermind, we have to get him off the stage. He's going to get kicked out of here," I tell him and my brother just takes another swig of his beer, his arm tightening around Rose.
"No way, they love him. He's one hilarious motherfucker when he's drunk," my brother laughs as I hear my name over the sound system.
"Bella, Bella, Bella," Edward's voice crackles, the microphone making a high-pitched screech. "Isn't she beautiful, everyone? That's my best friend, Bella. Bella, remember when you said you wanted to be a lounge singer? Now's your chance!"
There's a collective aww from the crowd and I want to die.
"I want to play a song for her. I know the song, the perfect song," he says and I'm watching him on stage, poised behind the large black shiny piano. He leans over to the guitarist, mumbling into his ear and then says something to the rest of the band before the piano sounds. There's an intro, a slow, evenly paced rhythm heavy in bass.
And then Edward sings and my fantasy implodes around me.
"Said I remember when we used to sit,
On the swings at the marina,"
The audience laughs at his lyric replacement but I can't.
"Oba-serving those fat and ugly fish,
As they eat up all the bread,"
He's staring at me now, his fiery hair a disheveled mess, his nose and cheeks red.
"Blah, blah, blah, I can't remember the words,
La something along the way,
In this bright future, you can't forget the past,
La la something tears I say,
No woman, no cry, no wo-man, no cry,
Said little darlin', don't shed no tears,
No woman, no cry…and she doesn't everyone. She never cries, this one, she's a rock."
He's fucking singing Bob Marley. His piano work is spot-on, but his singing is awful. And I don't cry. I just stand there watching Edward play the piano, a part of him I thought I'd never be able to see, the real Edward, completely plastered and playing the piano in a fucking Las Vegas lounge, just like he said he wanted to years ago. I don't cry until he gets to the end of the song, when he sings the last refrain over and over again until I almost believe him.
"Everything's gonna be alright."
And then the tears fall.
Eventually, Edward is escorted off the stage and we are asked, very politely of course, to get the fuck out. Edward can barely stand, he is really drunk and I offer to take him back to the hotel. I'm more or less sober at this point so Emmett helps us into a cab and I leave the Limo with them.
Once at the hotel, I use Edward's credit card to pay for the cab. I feel really horrible about it too, but I don't have the cash. He numbly signs the receipt and I carry Rose's shoes in my hand, walking barefoot through the lobby as Edward leans on me. In the elevator, he tries to kiss me but it's more like he just crashes into my face and I'm afraid he's going to pass out before we get to the room and I'll have to drag his ass to bed.
We finally make it to the room and before I can even turn on a light, I lay Edward on the bed, pulling off his shoes and his belt. His eyes are glassy and filmed over and I'm just praying he's doesn't puke. He watches me take off his socks and undo his pants. I scoot the jeans off his legs and then he's just in his boxers and a t-shirt and he's still watching me.
"I love you, Bella," he slurs and my eyes are the size of dinner plates, I'm sure. Did Edward just say I love you in a drunken stupor? It must be the alcohol talking. Good old liquid courage.
Or in this case, liquid delusions.
"No you don't. You love the fantasy. You love the thought of me. You love who I am two months out of the year. You love what you see in a pretty dress right now. You don't really love me. You don't even really know me," I whisper.
"How do you know what I feel," Edward says as he tries to sit up, his body swaying on the bed. "You think you know everything, Bella. You think you've got everything all figured out. I do love you. I love when you look at me with those big huge fucking doe eyes and I love it when they get all squinty, when I say something that pisses you off. I love the way you eat ice cream, like it the last goddamn time you're ever going to eat it. Do you know how hard it is for me to watch you lick chocolate ice cream off your fingers, year after year?"
I feel the tears welling in my eyes and I pull the rubber band from my wrist, wrapping it around my loose hair. "I don't have doe eyes. That's just make-up," I say getting a tissue from the bathroom and wiping the glitter from my face. God, I feel like such a fraud.
"I love your big fat braid hanging down your back and how you think you're so tough. I love your hips in that dress and your shoulders. You have really pretty shoulders." He sits on the edge of the bed.
"It's just a dress," I say, and I want to get out of it, the halter around my neck choking me. I unfasten the latch behind my neck, holding the dress across my chest as I search the corner for my back pack in the dark. Edward catches my wrist as I walk past him, his eyes intent as he glides his hand along the outside of my arm and up to my shoulder, my skin peppered in goose bumps. He feels so good. When he touches me it's magic.
I should leave, grab my shit and go into the other room. And I know Edward's drunk and that this may be a mistake and that I shouldn't be giving in to something like this, but I want him. I want him to hold me and make love to me and order room service in the morning for breakfast so we can stay in bed and cuddle.
I want the fantasy.
And it seems so does Edward. At least right now he does. So I release my grip on Rose's dress, letting the loose chiffon drop to the floor and I stand before him, completely exposed in Alice's stupid thong underwear.
"Oh God, you're just…" Edward says in a hushed voice as his hands wrap around my hips, the tips of his fingers pressed into my skin and I sigh at the contact. He guides his hands up my belly and over my ribs, his palms pressing roughly into my breasts and I gasp as he rolls his thumbs over my nipples. His hands smooth down my back and over my bare ass, his fingers hooked in the elastic of the underwear and he slides them down my legs. His eyes roam every inch of my body, needy, wanting eyes as he guides my hips to straddle his lap, and I can feel him hard beneath me. I rock against his length, my hands guiding his shirt over his head and then everything just starts going so fast.
I hear a series of loud blasts and pops and Edward kisses me, a rough, hungry kiss that consumes me. His fingers push into me and I gasp in shock, not ready for the penetration. He pumps his fingers into me over and over and the sensation is intense, the stretching of skin, the pulling of the hair there and I feel building pressure deep between my legs, almost like I have to pee and it's too much, too fast. So I try to slow things down.
I run my hands over his chest and I bring his mouth to mine, rolling my tongue with his and sucking at his lip and this feels better. I grind myself onto his hand, his thumb rubbing everywhere and the pressure mounts again, his hand moving faster and faster and I tremble against him. His mouth leaves mine and travels down my neck and he squeezes my breast in his hand, his tongue licking and sucking at the rosy, tightened flesh. I moan loudly against his forehead, my hands pulling through his long hair. Suddenly, Edward stands up, his hands gripping my behind as he lays me on the bed. He hovers over me and I slide down his boxers as he settles between my legs and I can feel his hard shaft against the inside of my thigh. I want him inside me and I writhe my hips against him so that he'll know it's okay, that I surrender to him, that I don't want to fight him anymore. His eyes gaze into mine, his hands push the hair from my face and he kisses my cheeks, my eyelids, my shoulder.
Edward cradles my head in his hands, his eyes worried and I see it there, pain and sadness and I see him hesitating so I wrap my legs around his waist, holding me to him.
"No," he says. "This is wrong. It can't be like this. It's not supposed to be like this."
He tries to pull away from me and tighten my legs, my arms wrapped around his neck.
"I want this, Edward. It's okay, it's fine," I say and he shakes his head.
"No, no, no, this is not okay," his head collapses into my shoulder. "God, I'm such an asshole. I can't believe I almost…I won't Bella, not like this."
I shake my head. What is he talking about, not like this, not like what? And I feel my heart crumble at his words. Rejection. It fucking hurts. I unwind my legs and he rolls off of me and I suddenly feel very foolish as I crawl underneath the fluffy down comforter and curl up on my side. How could I be so stupid? How could I believe I could have the fantasy? Edward just figured it out first, that's all. He just realized what I should have known. None of this is real. It can't be.
"I'm not rejecting you." I hear him say drowsily behind me. I feel his body shift so that he's under the comforter too. His arms wrap around my belly, his chest presses into my back, his lips on the back of my shoulder and my neck.
"Please, Bella, understand. I don't want it to be like this, not with you," he says, his lips pressing into my shoulder a dozen more times. "Please, don't be mad."
"I'm not mad," I say, my body relaxing against his chest and I feel him heavy on my back, his hot breath on my skin and I know he's completely gone, passed out and asleep and I sigh. I wiggle out from underneath him, and find my backpack. I pull on my soft cotton Underoos and my t-shirt and I instantly feel better, more like myself and less like the girl who almost had sex with Edward just minutes ago.
I crawl back under the comforter, and squirm my way into his arms. I let him hold me and I cry into the pillow, unsure of everything and wishing I would have just remained within my rock fortress.
…
I don't know what time the others get in that night, or morning or whatever. I only know that once again, we missed the fireworks. Edward and I were in here, having quasi almost sex during the fireworks show. How fucking ironic is that?
Alice and Jasper are asleep in the other bed and I silently creep into the restroom and brush my teeth. I quietly find my sleep shorts and pull them over my undies and crawl behind the curtain to sit in the windowsill. I'm not sure what time it is but I watch the tiny cars drive along the strip, the people that look like ants meandering down the sidewalk and I try not to think.
"Hey." Edward's head peeks through the closed curtain, his eyes squinting as he scratches at his stubbly chin. "Coffee?"
"Sure," I murmur. We're going to have to talk about it eventually, I guess. Might as well get it out and over with.
We get dressed and walk down to the coffee shop in the lobby. Edward wears dark sunglasses, even though we stay indoors. It's safe to say he's hungover. I can't help but smile at how ridiculous he looks.
"Don't laugh at me," he says, a small grin on his lips as he sips his coffee.
"Hey, you only turn twenty-one once, right? And you definitely had a night to remember," I say and then wish I could shove my foot in my mouth because his face crumbles.
"Bella, I'm so sorry about last night. I was completely wasted and I was out of line. We didn't…did we?" he asks and I deflate. He doesn't even remember, which makes me wonder what else he doesn't remember. Does he remember singing Bob Marley or Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star? Does he remember that he loves me?
"No, we didn't. Don't worry about it, it's fine," I try to blow it off, my voice terse and tight.
"That's not what I meant, damn it! God, I keep fucking this up." Frustrated he pushes his hair from his face. "I just…you mean a lot to me, like, a lot. And I don't ever want to have that with you, you know, a drunken fuck I can't remember. You deserve so much better."
I nod, taking a slow sip of my hot coffee, and it's sweet and creamy. I try to make sense of what he's telling me. So he doesn't want to fuck me in a drunken stupor. Got it.
"What do you want to have with me?" I ask and Edward smiles, his lips soft as they sip at his cup.
"Coffee? Sundaes? Bowling? Anything, Bella," he murmurs, his eyes dancing across my face.
"You want to go on a date?" I ask him, confused and he shrugs. "I like that. We can start slow, start over."
"No, not start over. Start again," Edward says, his fingers pushing my hair behind my ear and I smile. I can do that.
We talk about the Olympics as we finish our coffee and Edward tells me about the Dream Team. His favorite players are playing on the US basketball team and we make plans to watch it at my house. He holds my hand as we walk back to the room to find everyone awake, an odd silence hovering in the air. Alice looks worried, frantic almost as she cleans up her stuff. Jasper's tossing the empty liquor bottles into the trash can. He won't look at me.
"What's going on?" I ask and Alice smiles at me nervously.
"Emmett, Rose, she's back," Alice calls, and Emmett walks cautiously into the room. I'm starting to panic.
"Bella, can you come here for a sec," Emmett says and I pull Edward along. I sit on the bed, the one that looks undefiled and Edward sits at my side. Rose and Emmett stand linked before me and I feel very small, like a child, as they exchange odd glances.
"Oh for the love of awkward silences, just spit it out!" I say finally and Emmett takes a deep breath.
"Bella, I'm moving to Washington," Emmett says and I freeze.
"What? You're leaving?" I whisper after a long pause, the initial shock turning into anger and I grit my teeth. Edward wraps his arm around my shoulders but I barely feel him. All I can feel is this huge hole in my chest.
"Rose got an internship in Washington D.C. She's going to be there for at least the next two years, maybe longer. And I want to be where she is. I don't want to be without her anymore. Come on, Bella. You had to have seen this coming."
"But the marina, Dad and Mom? We need you Emmett, Dad needs you. What are we going to do?" I ask him and Rose won't meet my eyes.
"Dad will be fine," Emmett says in a cool voice and I wonder if they've already discussed this. I wonder if I'm the last one to know. And now I'm furious because my own brother couldn't give me a heads up.
"Why are you telling me this now? Does everybody know? Does Dad know you're abandoning your family for some part-time girlfriend?" I ask sarcastically, Rose's eyes sharp as she glares into mine. I don't care. She can hate me all she wants. I'll hate her right back. She's stealing my brother.
"Nobody knows. Except Alice and Jasper, because we needed witnesses," Emmett mumbles and I'm confused.
"Witnesses?" I ask, the tears spilling over my cheeks now.
"Rose isn't my part-time girlfriend, Bella." Emmett smiles shyly at Rose beside him and I already know what he's going to say. It doesn't stop the words from slamming into my chest like a fucking semi-truck.
"She's my wife."

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A/n
I'll post a teaser for next chapter on my blog on Monday. Thank you for song rec's! I've added them to the For the Summer playlist. Thank you for sharing stories and lovely comments and venting frustrations…I love you all.

Fandom Gives Back: You can still join Team Summerward! You have until 3:00 pm PST on Friday to join. I'm incredibly overwhelmed by the generosity of this fandom, you guys are beautiful, and I'm now offering 5 EPOV outtakes if the bid reaches $1500. Many thanks to ilsuocantante for her supreme organizational skills!

In the Closet Anonymous Slash contest is now accepting entries. I get to judge!

Special thanks to SubtlePen for beta'ing and Miztrezboo for prereading. I want to snuggle them.