For the Summer - 1986

That Time You Sat on the Muffins

1986

The A-Team airs its fifth and final season.

Sammy Hagar performs his first concert as lead singer of Van Halen.

Space Shuttle Challenger disintegrates after launch, killing everyone on board.

…

"So, what's up with you and Jacob?" Edward asks, his lips stained from the rainbow sherbet Push-Up he's eating as he sways on the swing beside me. The Cullens arrived last night, crammed into a big black Mercedes. Last year, Dr. Cullen bought one of the modular homes here at Willow Cove. I can almost see their front porch from my bedroom window and I've been watching for signs of life for weeks.

I started high school this year and am now known by everyone as Emmett's little sister. They don't even bother learning my name, calling me little Swan. Every time I hear it, I want to smash their faces in. Emily lets me eat lunch with her a couple times, but she doesn't exactly have the best reputation in school and I high-tailed it out of there when one of her boyfriends asked me if I was a virgin. After that, I spent my lunches in the library. I finished the required reading list for next year and am working my way through the college prep list. Jacob hangs around his brothers Jared, Embry and Quil and their stoner friends, who hang around Emmett and his clan of gear heads who occasionally hang at the tables with Emily and her popular friends. I don't fit into any of these groups. And I don't really have friends. I'm kind of a social outcast.

"Nothing's up with me and Jacob. There is no me and Jacob. There's me and there's Jacob and occasionally, we have to be in the same room. Other than that, I avoid him like the plague," I explain before taking a bite of my Big Otis. The cookies are soft and melty, just how I like them. What I don't like is how Edward lumped me with Jacob. It implies a union and I don't want to be connected to him in any way. Jacob is my brother's friend, if anything. Not mine.

"Just making sure. A lot can happen in a year," Edward says and I look at his face, the statement more true than he realizes. Edward's changed, his hair is very short and a dark auburn color now, his jaw is sharp, his cheeks less full and he has muscles, long lean curves in his arms and shoulders. He's a full head taller than me now, his feet too big for his body and I swear there's a faint shadow of prickly hair along his upper lip. He looks like the boys at my school, with his trendy clothes and brand name sneakers and I'm trying really hard not to pigeon-hole him into one of the groups. This is Edward, he's not generic or typical. He's just Edward and there's no one like him in the whole world.

"Yep, things change. People do too," I mutter as I stare back at the ground, the white rubber toe of my sneaker digging into the dirt.

"I made the basketball team this year," Edward says.

"You're a jock?" I laugh, surprised because Edward tripped over his own feet twice between the store and the swings.

"Yeah, I guess. I won first place in the academic decathlon too. I'm a nerdy jock, kicking ass and taking names. Do you still take pictures?" Edward asks me and I nod, my camera sometimes my only friend. When I'm looking through the lens, everything else disappears and the only thing I can see is what I'm focused on.

"I'm not anything. I don't really participate in the whole socializing thing," I say quietly, licking the chocolate from my fingers.

"That's not true. You're something," Edward says and I narrow my eyes because I'm sure his next comment is going to be a joke at my expense. "I'm serious! You're artsy, with your photography thing, and you're abstract the way you observe and dissect. And you are freakishly strong."

"Did you even stop to think that maybe you're just incredibly weak?" I ask and Edward shrugs his shoulders.

"Maybe I am, but maybe, you're part ant and that's why you can lift fifty times your body weight," Edward remarks and I smile, his comment reassuring me that he's still just Edward, my best friend who doesn't think I'm weird no matter what I say because he says weird stuff, too.

"You're probably Mr. Popular now, huh? Not only will you win them a title but you can tutor them in math too," I say in a dreamy voice and Edward knocks his swing into mine.

"I don't know. I'm not unpopular. I don't really pay attention to it. Mostly I just hang out with the team," Edward says and I notice he doesn't mention any girls. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't fishing.

"What about you? You got a little group of artsy fartsy friends? Maybe a little mopey boyfriend and the two of you talk about Romeo and Juliet all day and how nobody understands your love?" Edward grabs the chain of my swing, knocking his legs into mine as he smirks.

"If I did, I wouldn't be wasting the day here with you," I say with heavy sarcasm as I kick my feet off his leg, propelling my swing to sway diagonally across the dirt. Edward catches my chain as I cross in front of him, the momentum causing my seat to twist and jerk.

"Yeah, you would," Edward says confidently, his eyes peering into mine and causing my heart to flip flop in my chest. His hand stills grips the plastic covered chain to my swing and he stares at me for a long time before pushing me away. I don't like that he's right, and I don't like that he knows it.

I let my swing sway, leaning back and looking up at the bright blue sky, letting the light blind my vision and warm my face. The back of my legs are sweaty on the plastic seat and I'm craving a swim.

"Hey, Dad wants to get a cove for the Fourth. Do you think we could go back to that one we went to last year, the donkey one?" Edward asks and I shake my head no. I know which cove I want to take the Cullens to. It's on the west side of the river, south of the marina and closer to the warmer water. It's a small inlet in the middle of which is a sandy, brush covered island surrounded by rocky cliffs. Emmett and I nicknamed the island Australia when we were little.

And we might be able to see the glow of the fireworks from those cliffs.

"No? You won't take us to Donkey Cove?" Edward stops his swing, and stares at me in disbelief. "Why not?"

I bite my lip to hide my smile. "Because we're going to Australia."

...

"Hit it!" I yell, my knees pulled up to my chest as I lean back into the spongy life vest strapped around my body. I bob in the water, two wooden planks strapped to my feet and a rope between my knees. My fingers fold around the plastic handles. I can see Edward on the boat and he holds the red flag high in the air. Emmett hits the gas and I feel the pull in my arms, my hands grip the handles and just as I'm lurched forward, I straighten my legs and lean back to create more tension in the rope. Emmett's going too slow and I'm going to eat it if he doesn't speed up.

I signal with a repetitive thumbs-up motion, pulling back on the ropes as my skis glide across the top of the water, the wind pummeling my face, and howling in my ears. Every muscle in my body is tense as I fight to keep my balance, but as soon as Emmett speeds up, I relax, easing into the glide as the boat snakes across the wide, smooth water. We got out on the water extra early so it would be a clean, easy ride. Choppy water is the worst for teaching first time skiers.

After a few turns, I let go of the ropes and sink into the water so the others can have a turn. I pull my feet out of the rubber bindings, holding the skis under my arms and I wait for Emmett to circle back.

I still can't believe Dad let us take the boat on the Fourth of July, the busiest day of the season. Emmett will graduate next June and I know Dad wants Emmett to stay and run the marina but I think he also realizes that Emmett can choose to hightail it out of here as soon as he turns eighteen. They had a real bad fight, right before the summer started and Emmett went to live with my mom for a couple of weeks. They've been tiptoeing around each other ever since, like two alpha males trying to avoid confrontation. Emmett agreed to take classes at the community college instead of the University and Dad agreed to pay for it if Emmett helped run the marina. They worked things out and, hopefully, that was the worst of it but something tells me it wasn't.

The boat approaches me slowly and Jacob holds the red flag in the air from his seat next to my brother. Edward stands in the back, his face grinning down at me. Rose appears beside him, her blonde hair soft around her face, her lips pulled into a smirk. Her teeth are white and gleaming now, braces gone, but she still wears her wire rimmed glasses, even on the boat. She keeps covered constantly now, the fear of sunburn etched in her brain, evident by the large white t-shirt covered in purple and pink splotches, and the words 'River Rat' printed across the cotton. Alice sits sideways on the bench, leaning back and closing her eyes as she absorbs the morning sun. She opts for a bright red bikini this year, the straps tied around her neck, her dark hair choppy around her slim face.

"Who's next?" I call up to them and Rose takes off her glasses.

"Me. I'll go." She says as my brother leans over the side of the boat behind her.

"Throw us the vest," Emmett says and I unlatch the straps across my chest, clumsily slipping the floating foam from my shoulders while trying to hang onto the skis. Emmett reaches down as I swim over to the boat to hand him the vest. He shakes it over the edge to remove the extra water before Rose has to put it on. I hold onto the ladder with one hand and wait to help her into the skis.

Rose pulls her long shirt over her head, revealing a royal blue bikini striking against her snowy skin, the bottoms sitting low on her hips. Man, does she fill it out. Rose has developed over the year and by developed, I mean she's got boobs and hips and her body arches and curves and she looks like she could be in a big hair rock band music video. My brother gapes at her like a freaking groupie at a Van Halen concert and I'm absolutely positive some crude sexual commentary is running through his head.

She snatches the life vest from his hand but he doesn't release it, forcing her to meet his eyes and then he turns on the charm. I've seen it dozens of times, at school, at the burger joint in town where we get milkshakes sometimes, and with guests checking in. Emmett knows all he has to do is smile at her, pull his lips into that dimpled grin and she'll be a pile of giddy mush, talking an octave higher than normal and all of a sudden fascinated with his knowledge of outdrives. It's quite nauseating, actually.

The moment Emmett's lips curl around his teeth, Rose turns up her pointy nose and tugs forcefully on the vest. She doesn't crack a smile or giggle or anything. Emmett lets her have it, his features transforming from coy confidence to shock and confusion in a matter of seconds. He watches intently as she struggles to snap the latches tight across her generous bust, and shamelessly staring at her monumental cleavage. Oh, you transparent fool, I think to myself. It's like he's never seen boobs before and I have it on good authority that my brother is well acquainted with the boobular department. Emily has a big mouth and apparently no qualms about scarring me for life.

"Relax, mouth breather, they're just boobs, nothing but fat and mammary glands," Rose says as my brother stutters, running his hand over his short curls. Rose hoists herself over the side of the boat and gracefully slides into the water and, for the first time ever, I think I see Emmett blush, the tips of his big ears turning pink as he stalks over to his seat at the helm. She swims over to me and I smile at her with glowing appreciation. I love it when girls can see through my brother's bullshit.

Rose pulls the rubber bindings over her feet. Edward sits on the edge of the boat and listens as I show Rose the proper placement for her legs and arms.

"Stay in a ball until you're out of the water and then you just stand up. Don't fight the movement, let it pull you. If you want to go faster, give a thumbs-up and to slow down, thumbs-down. If you want to stop, just let go of the rope. Yell "Hit It" when you're ready and Emmett will punch the gas." Rose nods and I swim over by Edward's legs, stepping onto the ladder and pulling myself out of the water. Edward hands me a towel from the bench and I climb in and take a seat next to Alice. Edward follows behind and wiggles his way between the two of us. His thigh presses against mine, his hip against my hip and I'm suddenly very aware of Edward's body next to mine. He stretches his arms to rest on the back of the bench and I pull the towel tight around my body, the parched sun already drying my shoulders.

My brother idles the boat to straighten out the rope. I notice the flag in Jacob's lap and my anger flares at his negligence. That flag is a signal to other boats that there is a skier in the water and to take extra caution. Jacob knows how important this is. A couple years ago, some guys were out on the water, drunk as skunks, and forgot to use the flag. One of them got hit by a boat and died, the propeller really did a number, too. I didn't see it for myself, but that's what Emmett said.

"Jacob! Flag!" I shout in disbelief as Jacob lazily raises the flag in the air. "Dude! What the hell? If you're gonna slack, give it up. She could get killed!"

"Oh Bella, calm down. There's no one even out here yet," Jacob replies with a smirk. "Besides, I'm sure they'd see your ugly face and avoid the area at all costs."

"Dude, don't be such a dick!" Edward shouts before I can respond. Jacob's lips curl into a nasty sneer.

"What? Can't speak for yourself anymore, Bella? Gonna let this Pay Check do it for you?" Jacob's spits and I can feel my face reddening, my teeth grinding together as I try to find my voice. Jacob towers over me now. He's only fifteen but he hit a growth spurt this year or something and much to my dismay, I can't take him in a fight anymore. I've been forced into trying to control the words coming out of my mouth.

"That's what I thought," Jacob says when I refuse to respond and I can't look at him.

My face burns with blush, anger boils in my head and I wish I could think of something snarky to say but all my insults don't sound nearly harsh enough. I want to hurt him and I hate it when I feel like this. I also hate that Edward spoke for me like I'm not capable of standing up for myself. It's almost as insulting as Jacob's remark. Make fun of my face and I don't give a shit, but question my brain and we have a problem.

"Hit it!" I hear Rose yell and Emmett hits the gas, the roaring engine drowning out my thoughts. We watch as Rose disappears behind a froth of white water before popping up suddenly out of the wake. She's concentrating and stable as she maintains her balance for a long length of water but then Emmett turns. Rose hits the wake at an unsuspecting angle and face plants into the water. Still, it's a pretty good run for a beginner.

Emmett circles around, positioning the boat just in front of Rose and Edward gets up to snatch the flag from Jacob's worthless hand. He resumes his seat next to me and holds the signal in the air before flashing me a goofy grin and my irritation with him fades slightly at the gesture.

"Pretty impressive, Rose." I say over the side of the boat to her. "You going again?" Rose nods and Emmett idles away again, turning so the rope will drift towards her. She repeats her performance, followed by Alice, who only stumbles once before popping right up with ease. Alice is more graceful than Rose and even rides the wake without falling. Jake takes a turn, riding one ski, the 'log' we call it. Jake is an expert on skis and even more impressive on one. He puts on a performance, turns and tricks and by the time he's done, Alice and even Rose squeal with delight.

Edward's leg bounces next to mine, his thigh rubbing against mine in agitation and I give him a nudge to get him to stop. He just stands up, his eyes blazing, his fists clenched.

"My turn," he says and hands me the flag. He grabs the other vest, the larger one my brother wears and strips off his shirt. God, I hope he put on sunblock but I'm not going to ask, something in his face screams at me to shut up and I follow my instincts for once. He straps the vest across his chest and clumsily jumps off the side of the boat. I glide the other ski over to him and he catches it, holding it under his arm as he swims over to Jacob. I can see they're exchanging words, their faces are tense. Edward smirks and Jacob sneers before Jake heads back to the boat, leaving Edward to struggle into the skis on his own.

Jacob climbs into the boat and sits next to me on the bench, his heavy wet arm flung across my shoulders and I squirm away from him.

"Jake! What the hell? You're getting me all wet!" I say and Jacob just laughs and nods his head.

"I bet," Jacob winks at me and Alice laughs, a high-pitched giggle. My stomach flips and my face and ears burn at what I just said.

"Oh, gross. You're a dog, you know that?" I say before practically jumping into the empty seat across from the bench.

"Try to hide it all you want, but you love it, Bella," he says but before I can argue, Edward yells hit it from the water and my brother punches the gas, the roar of the engine drowning out our voices.

I'm still seething at Jacob's arrogance but Edward on skis provides a distraction. He pulls up out of the water no problem but he's completely clumsy. He's all limbs, his arms flailing as he grips the rope handles for dear life, his legs are wobbly and his balance is off. He keeps pitching forward and pulling back, and I think he's going down at least a half a dozen times. His eyes are wide and petrified, his lips pulled into a grimace as he struggles to stay up on the skis. I don't want to laugh, but it's probably the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. I pull my camera from the cubby in the side of the boat and snap a couple pictures, hoping to capture a particularly awkward position.

"Oh shit, he looks like Goofy out there! You know, the cartoon, where Goofy learns to ski? All he needs is a green hat," Jacob shouts over the roar of the engine. Alice is cackling, holding her stomach, her mouth gaping and wide. Rose snorts behind me, smacking Emmett on the shoulder and telling him to sneak a peek and soon Emmett is laughing too. Edward continues to struggle and I fight the muscles pulling in my cheeks because I know exactly which cartoon Jacob is talking about and the resemblance is spot on.

Finally, Edward loses his battle with gravity and tumbles forward, his feet flying out of the skis, a ball of arms and legs flailing into the water. There's a collective roar of laughter on the boat as Edward falls and I frown now, because I know Jacob's going to have a field day when Edward gets back on the boat. I put my camera away and hold the flag in the air as Emmett circles around to pick Edward up. His pale face glows red with frustration as he swims over to the ladder. I hand the flag to Alice and bend over the side of the boat as Edward hands the skis to me one at a time.

"You going again, man?" Jacob yells down at him, a smirk on his lips. "Because I haven't laughed that hard in years."

"Yeah, laugh it up, jackass. Glad I could entertain you all," Edward's eyes focus on mine and I feel bad for laughing.

"Are you okay?" I ask him as he climbs in the boat, shedding the vest and plopping down in the chair behind Emmett.

"Yeah, are you okay, Eddie?" Jacob leers and Edward's eyes darken at this nickname. He hates to be called Eddie.

Again, Edward looks at me with irritation, like it's my fault he's Goofy on skis.

"What?" I ask, my tone harsh. "It was funny! I'm sorry, Edward, but it was hilarious."

"I'm just fine, so you can quit pretending like you give a shit," he says and I'm shocked at his words. I expected him to laugh at himself, like he normally does but instead he's fuming and I don't like that he's lashed out at me in front of everyone.

"Oh come on! If it was anyone else, you'd be laughing your ass off," I contest and Edward ignores me. Jacob's grinning like a mad fool and I suddenly realize why Edward's so angry. I've sided with the enemy and at Edward's expense.

"Anyone else want to ski?" Emmett asks, attempting to break the tension.

"I'm good," Jacob smirks and I glance over at Edward. He refuses to look at me and I feel my stomach twist, regretting that I even opened my big fat mouth. Emmett starts up the engine and steers the boat back to the cove. Dr. Cullen's boat floats languidly on the calm water and we can see him and Mrs. Cullen lounging in chairs underneath a blue tarp on the beach as Emmett pulls around the small island.

Emmett pulls up the outdrive so the propeller won't catch in the sand and throws me the anchor and ropes. Jacob jumps off the side of the boat as it idles up to the beach and I follow. The water isn't very deep and I submerge, hitting the slimy bottom with my bare feet before resurfacing to catch the boat. I knot the rope to the anchor and let it drop to the bottom as Jacob ties the front of the boat to a sturdy bush on the shore.

Emmett, Rose and Alice jump into knee deep water and wade to shore but Edward remains on the boat. I can't decide if I should go to him or let him be a big baby. I guess it's partially my fault he's upset so I climb back into the boat and plop down on the bench. Edward looks up at me, his eyes dejected and sad and I feel my chest swell, regret thick in my gut.

"I'm sorry I laughed," I say, moving to sit in the chair beside him. He just looks down and I'm thinking maybe I should have just let him sulk. He sighs and runs his fingers over his short cut, the sun making the red stand out. His chest is still bare and starting to pink and I want to tell him to put on sunblock or a shirt or something but I remain silent, not wanting to piss him off further.

"You're right, though. If it would have been anyone else, I would have laughed too. But Jacob just gets under my skin. He's so damn cocky and after his little phenomenon on skis, I really wanted to show him he's not as cool as he thinks he is. Guess I failed miserably, huh?" Edward's lips pull into a soft sad smile, his eyes glowing vibrant in the sun. He really is beautiful, the way his chin juts out in strong lines, his nose and cheek bones developing into sharp lines.

"Jacob's a fool and he knows he's shit. That's why he spends so much time making others feel bad, so he can make himself feel better. If anything I pity him," I say, explaining it to Edward how my mom explained it to me the last time I visited her. She didn't exactly say Jacob was shit, she called him a bully but her message was clear. He feels bad about himself and wants to bring everyone down with him.

"You pity him?" Edward asks, a teasing smile playing on his lips and I nod. "And you think he's a fool?"

"Yeah?" I answer, confused as to where he's going with this.

"So, one could say you pity the fool?" Edward smiles expectantly and I'm still confused. Is he making fun of me? I guess it's obvious I don't get the joke because he rolls his eyes and groans.

"Oh, come on, Bella! I pity the fool?" He says in deep, throaty voice and I slightly recognize the turn of phrase.

"Are you serious? Mr. T? You're killing me here, Swan!" Edward teases and I shrug, letting him have a laugh at my expense because it makes us equal again.

"Come on, fool. Let's get some breakfast," I say as I stand up. "And you need to put on some sunblock or a shirt or something. You're already turning pink."

"Yes, sir," Edward mocks with a salute. We climb over the bench and off the back of the boat, carrying our towels overhead. The water feels refreshing against my legs in the early heat and my toes sink into the silty sand. My sneakers are already on shore with my sunscreen, hat and books. We're going to be out here all day and into the night so I made sure to bring extra clothes, too. My shorts and tank top are already sopping wet, having worn them over my swimsuit to ski and now I'm itching to get them off my skin.

Edward kicks the water behind me, obnoxiously splashing me from behind, but I smile, because it means he's no longer upset. I'll take obnoxious Edward over sulking Edward any day.

"What took you so long?" Mrs. Cullen winks and it dawns on me what she must be thinking, what they all must be thinking but I don't know what to say.

"We were plotting world domination," Edward says, collapsing into one of the padded lounge chairs. "We were trying to decide who would survive our hostile takeover. Your fate hinges on the deliciousness of these muffins I've heard so much about."

"Edward!" Mrs. Cullen shouts, her face horror stricken but I can't understand why. It was obvious he was only joking.

"What? I was kidding! We were just talking, I swear!" Edward says in a panicked voice.

"No! No, no, not that! Get up!" Mrs. Cullen pulls him out of the chair by his arm. "You're sitting on the muffins!"

"Oh!" Edward jumps out of the seat to reveal a plate of flattened muffins, the sweet, moist bread squished and sticking to the plastic wrap. "I was wondering why that chair was so comfortable."

I can't stop the snort from escaping my lips and I clamp my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing, especially considering the Goofy on skis episode. Edward glares up at me before his lips curl into a surprised smile and I let it out, a big long laugh that echoes off the tall cliffs that surround our spot on the cove. Alice's high cackle peals through the canyon. Emmett starts singing the old nursery rhyme, Do You Know the Muffin Man, and soon we're all giggling. Even Mrs. Cullen laughs as she tries to salvage our crumbled breakfast, peeling off the plastic and picking at the destroyed pastries.

We lounge in the hot sun for half the day, swimming when we need relief. Emmett and Jacob take Rose and Alice on another ski ride and Dr. and Mrs. Cullen go, this time. Edward and I hang back to watch our stuff. The wind starts to pick up towards the afternoon and we tie the canopy to the ice chest so it won't fly away. I remove my wet clothing and lay on my towel on my stomach in the shade to read my book. Edward puts his towel beside me and scribbles in a notepad. I try to see what he's writing but he keeps his thoughts to himself, his foot nudging the back of my leg or his elbow knocking into mine every so often, and causing butterflies to go haywire in my stomach. I lose myself in my pages, my brain occupied with hobbits and elves and magical rings instead. The heat makes my eyelids heavy and I let them close, the water lapping at the shore providing a soft lullaby. The sand is soft beneath my body and sweat starts to bead on the back of my neck and down my spine and I am perfectly content here and now, in the quiet of the desert, in the comfort of my friend.

"Hey lovebirds!" My brother shouts and I startle out of a deep sleep. My hair is matted and sweaty on my face, my body stiff and achy as I lift my head to find Edward's cheek against my shoulder, his arm and torso pressed against the length of my body. His breath is hot on my skin and my belly tingles and pulses as my heart beats in my throat. His lips are like, right there. I could kiss him if I wanted to. I feel my cheeks get hot and I try not to think about how much I like Edward's skin touching mine and quickly slide away from him before he can wake up.

Emmett's the first on the shore with Alice and Rose right behind him. Alice grins widely, her blue eyes twinkling, and I assume she thinks we've been cuddling. Were we cuddling? I mean, it would seem that way, but it wasn't on purpose. It was a sleep-induced accidental cuddle, I tell myself. And I'm pretty sure I believe it, too.

Mrs. Cullen is still wading through the water and Jacob is showing Dr. Cullen a better way to anchor off the boat and I'm grateful as all hell they weren't the ones to witness the cuddle confusion. Jacob would never let me live that one down.

I sit up and rub my eyes before quickly getting to my feet. It has to be late afternoon now, the sun sinking below the hills and casting a shadow across the cove. I'm burning up, though, so I jump into the water before Emmett can say anything else and decide to swim to the island.

I hear splashing behind me and I see Alice following. Crap. She's going to ask me about Edward, I'm sure. And she's persistent. She's not going to just let this go.

"Bella, wait!" She yells and I turn around to face her, treading water, my breathing heavy. It's not very far to swim, but my heart is still reeling from Edward's body touching mine and in my haste to get away from them, I realize I am swimming quite fast.

She smiles as she catches up to me and we turn to swim to the shore. She doesn't waste any time, starting right in on the cuddle heard round the world as if it's the most scandalous thing she's ever seen.

"Oh my God, how cute was that? You guys make such a cute couple," she blabs as we swim and I'm momentarily distracted by her ability to talk while swimming.

"We're not a couple, Alice," I gasp, trying not to swallow water in the process.

"Oh please, he's totally in love with you. He talks about you all the time. He couldn't wait to see you, he even wrote you a poem for your birthday," Alice says and I stop swimming, my head going under as I choke on the water in my throat.

"What? Is that my present this year?" I cough, suddenly very interested in the conversation. "A...a poem?"

Alice nods as we reach the shore. She adjusts her top and is breathing heavily as she wades onto the beach with me right on her heels. I collapse onto the sand and she sits next to me. I'm a bit stunned at this disclosure. A poem is so intimate, so personal, something you would give a girlfriend.

But I'm not Edward's girlfriend. Not that I wouldn't want to be. I can't really deny anymore that I like Edward. I like the way he makes me feel, I like the way he makes me laugh but I can't be his girlfriend. Edward's girlfriend will be from Seattle, a girl that's just like him, who has lots of money and wears nice clothes and makeup and fits with him. I'm just a river girl, his summer friend. Nothing more.

"Edward doesn't love me, Alice. Doesn't he have a girlfriend in Seattle?" I ask, shamefully fishing for information.

"Edward has lots of girlfriends in Seattle. He's very popular. But he doesn't look at them the way he looks at you. He loves you, Bella, whether you want to admit or not," Alice says, leaning back on her elbows.

"Well, being in love and being a couple are two very different things," I mutter. Maybe Edward loves me, but that doesn't mean he wants to be with me. That doesn't mean he wants to kiss me and hold my hand or anything. My mind wanders back to last year, when he offered out of pity to kiss me on the bow of the boat.

For one minute, I imagine that Edward really wanted to kiss me, that he really did love me and want me to be his girlfriend. I imagined how wonderful our summer would be, how we would go hiking and skiing. We would go for night swims and eat ice cream and maybe nap together in the hot sun again. I would let him kiss me and touch me and I feel a pulse between my thighs, an unfamiliar ache that spreads into my belly and burns in my legs and I'm mortified that I'm thinking these things while Alice, his sister, for Christ's sake, is sitting here beside me. I close my eyes, trying not to imagine how soft his lips would be when I kiss him goodbye. He would leave. After a perfect summer, filled with kissing and laughing and possibly getting to third base, he would leave me, and my heart would break.

No, I have to protect myself, shield my heart from inevitable failure. I cannot fall in love with Edward Cullen.

"Maybe you're right. It'd be hard to date someone who lives so far away. But that doesn't mean it goes away, you know, the love. It doesn't just disappear," Alice says after a long silence. She looks over at me and smiles and I frown, thinking about how I think of Edward all year long, how I can't wait for him to show up. Alice is right, it never goes away.

Alice laughs at my expression, her lips pulled over very white teeth. "Relax Bella, it's not a death sentence, you know. Love is a many splendored thing." She closes her eyes and sighs, the very thought of it making her swoon and I just don't see the appeal. Love is scary and stressful and confusing. I mean, I'm only fourteen. I wouldn't know love if it bit me in the ass.

"Are you in love with anyone?" I ask Alice and she grins, the chance to talk about herself too enticing to pass up. She launches into a story about some boy she knows at school who's dating her best friend and how she just knows they'd be perfect together. He calls her all the time, yet he stays with her best friend because they had sex and he wants to do the honorable thing. I just nod and throw in an uh-huh once in a while, but truthfully, I have trouble keeping the facts straight.

"And then, Maria, the friend, was out of town last winter and he invited me to the theater but then invited all these other people. What does that mean? Did he want to go out with me but knew he couldn't without causing a big fight between him and Maria? Or was he just bored and felt obligated to invite me because we're friends?" Alice takes a breath. "I don't know. I don't know what to do. I know he doesn't love her. He just feels like he owes her something, because she was his first."

"Maybe you should let nature runs its course. And if it's meant to be, then it will happen," I say, my extensive knowledge of the topic left to trite clichés.

"Leave it to fate?" Alice snorts. "Oh Bella, there's no such thing as 'meant to be'. If you want something, you have to make it happen. I'm not going to leave my future up to something as arbitrary as fate."

"So do you believe in soul mates?" I ask confused.

"As in, 'one and only person that is meant for you?' Not possible. I mean my mom thought my dad was her soul mate and look how that ended up," Alice says with a shake of her head.

"But then she found Dr. Cullen and they seem pretty happy together," I point out.

"What are the odds that my mom would find two guys she thinks are her soul mates and that they'd both live in the same city as her? It just isn't logical. No, love isn't about meant to be, love is about a connection, a spark. I can't explain it, but you'll just know. And you won't be able to stay away, no matter how many miles are between the two of you." Alice winks at me and again, I frown because this love thing is way more complicated than I initially thought. I think of my parents and how they used to love each other. I'm sure my mom thought they were soul mates at one point in time and now they can hardly be in the same room together.

There is a faint smell of smoke in the air now and I can see the orange glow of the campfire at the cove. The sun is starting to set and Alice and I decide to head back to the site. We cover the distance in silence, the sound of voices getting louder as we swim closer to the shore. They're all seated under the canopy, even though the sun has fallen behind the hills and the sky now glows in purples and reds and yellows. Dr. Cullen is busy cooking hot dogs on the barbeque while Mrs. Cullen pulls the condiments and potato salad from the ice chest. Alice pulls a towel from one of the chairs, wrapping it around her body and plopping into the woven polyester chair.

"You know people have been abducted from this river, right?" Emmet starts and I roll my eyes. Emmett's been telling this story for as long as I can remember. At this point, I don't know if he really believes it or if he just gets off on scaring people.

"That's highly unlikely," Rose argues from her lounge chair, her glasses poised on her prim nose.

"No, I'm serious. You know that rundown mansion off the main road? You can't miss it, it's the only house on the road between here and town. The Trackers used to live there. They were last seen at the docks, taking off for a night ride. Their boat was found five miles downriver the next morning, crashed into the shore. No bodies, no trace anywhere but there were reports of a glowing orb hovering over the very spot the boat was found," Emmett explains. My towel is still laid out next to Edward, and he is now sitting cross-legged, digging a hole in the sand with a stick. He looks up as I sit down and his eyebrows knit together, his lips pursed. He's wondering where I went.

"Australia," I whisper and he nods.

"No, you don't understand. I'm not arguing the probability of alien life forms in our universe. There's actually a formula that mathematically suggests there has to be life in other solar systems. Whether or not they're evolved enough to develop the technology needed to bend space and time in order to travel here is highly unlikely," Rose contests and Emmett gapes. I'm pretty sure he has no idea what she's talking about.

"You mean like on Back to the Future?" Emmett grins, relying on his charm and dimples to outweigh his ignorance.

"Yeah, like Back to the Future. God, don't get me started on the scientific inaccuracies of that piece of crap," Rose responds sarcastically.

"Piece of crap? That movie is a work of art, pure perfection, everything I've ever dreamed of in a cinematic masterpiece," Emmett says in disbelief.

"They've been arguing nonstop since I woke up," Edward murmurs into my ear, his warm breath tickling my ear and my mind wanders back to my conversation with Alice and I'm thankful as all hell he can't read minds.

"I hope Rose is disagreeing with him on purpose, just so she can dominate him in the debate," I respond and Edward chuckles.

"Alright troops, doctor your buns, these dogs are ready," Dr. Cullen says as Mrs. Cullen passes us each a paper plate. We eat, quietly submersed in conversation, and ignoring the occasional argument between Emmett and Rose. Jacob wants to hike up the backside of the cliff but Mrs. Cullen vetoes the idea, claiming it's too dark and too dangerous and not even Jacob can argue with her. Instead, we use the canopy to cover the folded chairs, placing rocks along the edge to prevent it from getting swept away during the night. It's our reservation, a sign to other boaters that this cove has been claimed. We ride back to the marina, the two boats side by side, warm air breathing in my ears and across my neck. Edward sits across from me on our bench, his thigh against my calf, the sky aglow with fireworks we can't see.

…

The days blur together. My dad makes me work at the general store four days a week helping Leah and the rest I can spend with Edward. Dr. Cullen's reworking his textbook, and Mrs. Cullen occupies her time with books, puzzles and prepping for next school year, leaving us free to roam the marina. We race utility carts down the rutted dirt road and snorkel along the shoreline. Emmett takes us out on the boat and Edward does much better on the skis the more he practices. Rose and Emmett continue to bicker like an old married couple and Jacob comes around once a week to bug me and stir up trouble. The sky is patched with great cotton clouds, billowing like cream against the bright blue sky, a forewarning of the storms that pummel this desert with the change of season. The summer is almost over, and the Cullen's will be gone in a week. I try not to think about how my mood is affected and just focus on the present.

This morning, Jacob mentioned the large cliffs behind the cove and of course, Edward's intrigued. We get Emmett to drive us all out to the cove, Rose and Alice too, with the plan to jump from the small ledges. It's only about a twelve foot drop from the smallest cliffs, and the girls and Edward handle the jump nicely. Rose screams as her and Alice jump together, flinging themselves off the dirt cliff simultaneously and plummeting into the calm, deep water below. They surface, laughing at the thrill and surprised at their own bravery. Edward swan dives off the ledge with a graceful fall head first and I hold my breath, unable to look as he enters the water and surfaces quickly. We all cheer and yelp at his form, even my brother seems impressed. This pisses Jacob off to no end. It's no surprise that Jacob is now trying to goad Edward into making a fool of himself. He suggests the highest cliff, something I've only ever done once and was petrified the whole way down.

"Oh come on, Edward, don't be such a pansy-ass," Jacob taunts as we hike the hills behind the cove.

"I already told you I'll do it," Edward mutters, and I can see the sweat beading on his sundrenched skin as he walks in front of me. His back is splotched and freckled, his shoulders peeling.

I quicken my step to walk beside him and I lightly touch his arm to get his attention. "You don't have to. Jacob's just trying to get a rise out of you. It's not worth getting killed over," I whisper to him and he looks at me with wide eyes.

"You think I'm going to get killed?" he asks startled and I shrug. Maybe I'm being a little overdramatic, but I'm just uneasy about this whole thing. I mean, this is the kind of stuff that happens in daytime dramas on television.

"No, not really. I'm just…I don't want you to end up an after-school special," I say and Edward laughs loudly, throwing his arm around my shoulders and messing with my hair playfully. I shove him away, smoothing my hair away from my face and feeling like a fool for being worried. Or at least for letting him know that I'm worried.

"I can handle this, trust me." Edward nudges me with his shoulder, letting his arm linger on mine and I hate thinking that he knows I'm stressing about this. I also don't think he knows what he's getting himself into.

"Don't you think we should just head back, Emmett?" I shout up ahead at the crowd in front of us and Emmett stops. "I mean, those clouds mean a storm's coming, right? Shouldn't we get off the water?"

"She's just looking out for her little boyfriend," Jacob scoffs. "Did he ask you to find a way out of this for him? Because he's too chicken shit to do it himself?"

Edward scowls at me and I shake my head. "Jacob, you stupid idiot. You know as well as I do we shouldn't be doing this. It's not safe. We need to get back to the marina."

"Is this really dangerous?" Rose asks Emmett and he glances up at the sky.

"Naw, those clouds won't turn dark for at least twelve hours or so," Emmett says and I shove past him, irritated he chooses Jacob's side over mine.

"Fine. Then I'm jumping too," I say and march up the hill, the others following behind in silence and I'm so furious at their blatant stupidity I can hardly see straight.

We reach the top of the cliff and I peer over the edge. It's a thirty foot drop, the water licking the side of the cliff far below and my stomach turns as a wave of vertigo causes my head to spin. What the hell did I get myself into? I can't back out now, not after my little temper tantrum, but I'm seriously starting to freak out a little at what I'm about to do.

"We'll jump together," Edward murmurs in my ear and I close my eyes and nod my head, my heart pounding in my throat.

"Alright man, pony up. Unless you want to back out," Jacob taunts.

"Nope, I'm good. You good, Bella?" Edward grabs my hand firmly and I nod unable to speak. "She's good. I'm good. We're all good." I hear Edward swallow and I look over at him. "Good to go."

He's stalling, his eyes telling me I can back out, that I don't have to jump, but I take this as a challenge. I grip his hand more tightly, narrowing my eyes and firmly resolved that I can do this.

"Ready?" I ask him and he nods.

"Are you ready?" He asks and I roll my eyes. Jesus, now I just want this to be over because I'm hot and irritated and tired of dealing with this whole ordeal. I drop his hand and take a couple steps back.

"On the count of three?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"No, that gives me three seconds to chicken out," he says, his voice shaking.

"Now!" he shouts and in a split second I'm running off the cliff, my sneakers still on my feet and everything. I scream the whole way down, my stomach in my shoes, my heart in my throat, the wind whipping my hair and then it's over. Edward enters the water a moment before I do, the impact stinging my legs as I plunge into the water, kicking myself to the top and breathing in great big gasps as I surface. I laugh, treading water and looking around for Edward but I don't see his face anywhere. I start to panic, looking up to find the others have disappeared and I imagine the worse, that Edward's at the bottom of the river, and that it's my fault for letting him jump. I hold my breath and duck under the surface and open my eyes, searching for his bright blue swim trunks but I can't see anything through the cloudy muck. Staying under as long as I can, I resurface only to find it empty once again.

Oh God, please don't let him be hurt! Where is he? Where the hell is he?

"Edward!" I yell, my voice quivering as the tears start to roll down my cheeks. "Edward?"

Suddenly, I feel a sharp pinch on the back of my leg and I scream. Edward surfaces and he's laughing his ass off. I'm so pissed I can hardly see straight. This was a joke. He thinks this is funny? I'm crying, thinking he's dead, and he's playing games?

Well, fuck that.

"You asshole!" I yell, trying to hit at him with my fists. His face changes as he blocks my blows, the force weakened by the water. "I thought you were dead! How could you do that to me? I hate you!"

"Whoa! Bella, calm down!" he tries to grab my arms but I push him away, turning my back to him as I swim to shore. I can't believe he did that to me! Of all the horrible, awful things he could do, that was just the worst.

"Hey, come back! It was a joke!" Edward shouts behind me but I ignore him. He grabs my arm and spins me around to look at my face. "Are you crying?"

"No!" I lie and he lets me go. I swim to the shore and stalk back into the hills, taking a different path than the one the others will soon be traipsing down. The last thing I want is an audience right now.

I hear a slip of gravel behind me. "Wait, Bella, wait just a goddamn second."

I stop and turn, giving Edward a glaring look and cross my arms over my chest. I'll wait and I'll listen and then I'll tell him off real good and I won't speak to him for at least a day.

Edward stops in front of me, his face dejected and worried and I can't look at his big green eyes because I'll go soft. There's no excuse for what he did, faking his own death just so he can pinch me. It's not even remotely entertaining.

"Did you really think I was dead?" he asks and I nod, wiping the fresh tears from my cheeks and pissed as all hell that I'm letting him see me cry.

"Do you really hate me?" Edward whispers and I glance up. Edward's face is soft, his eyes pleading and he looks destroyed, my words crushing him. I feel awful that I said them.

"No," I say quietly as I shake my head.

"Good," Edward sighs as he takes another few steps towards me. I back up instinctively and he steps towards me again until his nose is practically touching mine. I'm trembling, my chest heaving up and down as Edward's hand touches my cheek.

"Thank you," Edward says, his eyes burning into mine. "For caring."

And then I feel it, a crackling hum, an electrical impulse, a spark. Whatever it is that Alice was talking about, I feel it and I know. And I'm scared and nervous and excited that his hand is touching my cheek but I want to be closer still so I crane my neck, tilting my head towards his. He leans down slowly, he's so close now I can feel his breath on my face, his hand falls from my cheek and slides around my back instead and he pulls me even closer. Our bodies touch, my wet tank top against his bare chest and I relax against his lanky frame.

Before I can even contemplate what is going on, Edward leans down and presses his lips to mine. I don't know what to do, my eyes watching his face, admiring the long lashes of his closed lids. His mouth is warm and gentle and he pulls away. He opens his eyes and smiles and I smile awkwardly back. It wasn't such a big deal, the kiss, nothing earth shattering or anything and I scrunch up my nose. Maybe I didn't do it right?

Edward's hand is still pressed into my back and the silence between us is awkward and strange and I don't like it one bit.

"You know, I've never done that before," I say and Edward grins.

"It was okay for your first time," Edward reassures and I laugh because I know he's lying. He's touched boobs, for crying out loud.

"Yeah right, it was awful," I say, frowning a little as Edward steps away from me.

"It wasn't awful," Edward says as he starts back down the hill. "You're supposed to move your mouth a little, kind of relax your lips."

"Can we try again?" I ask as that damn blush creeps into my cheeks. I don't want Edward thinking I'm a terrible kisser because of a technicality.

"We can practice all week, if you want." Edward flashes me a sly grin and I'm filled with a mixture of excitement and nervousness and dread. Because even though the thought of kissing Edward again makes my stomach tighten in new, foreign ways, his words leave me with an aching in my heart. One week, that's all we have left. One week.

…

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A/N

Here come the hormones!

Grrrrr! So I didn't get to reply to your messages last chapter and I feel like a schlub. But I love love love hearing all your summer stories and I thank you so much for sharing them with me.

Spanglemaker9, thank you so much for spreading the summer love! Thank you also to Girl Who Reads, for reviewing this story on The Writer's Coffee Shop. I'm all a squee at your kind words.

Special thanks to my sweet friend, misforMarisa, for making me a banner. She's so incredibly talented and I love her so! Omg, I miss you bb!

AND sweet cheeks fngrcufs is going to host a read-a-long for this story on Twitter in July, just in time for fireworks! How cool is this? More info to follow :)

Big nuzzles to SubtlePen for beta'ing and to miztrezboo for prereading. Much, much love to this dynamite duo for their help.